What You Feel
by Trixie Ray
Summary: She was a mess when he went away. She just needed him by her side. Just him. Ginny x Harry. Rated K. Angst


**What You Feel**

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**Author: Bea Mendes**

**Shipper: **Ginny X Harry

**Genre: **Angst

**Rated: **K

**Summary: **She was a mess when he went away. She just needed him by her side. Just him.

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How can you live when you don't know what happened to the person you treasures most? Your life stops, everything stop making sense until you know if the person is fine, if the person is simply alive. What moves you forward is having hope. Hope and faith that you will see that person again. You become numb, this protects you, helping you to ease the pain. But the pain never goes away completely. And this makes you find a way to express your feelings, to show the world what you have inside.

**- - -**

"Miss Weasley! Pay attention! Five points from Gryffindor!" Snape said with his smirk. "What is the answer to the question I just asked you?"

"I- I don't know Professor."

"What was the question Miss Weasley?" His smirk was growing. It didn't matter if he was loyal to the Order, he still was a Slytherin.

Ginny was angry now, every time it was the same thing, every class he did this. She always lost at least thirty points from her house. What angered her most was that Snape knew why she was acting this way. She was becoming more and more red, her face was soon the same color as her hair. Her colleagues seemed to be scared and moved a bit away form her. "I don't know" she said through gritted teeth, "and I don't bloody care!" She wasn't able to control herself anymore. Snape wasn't surprised. He didn't move, only his smirk grew wider.

"Detention Miss Weasley. Be here at eight sharp. Twenty points from Gryffindor."

Ginny knew this would happen. Her anger was fading away and after a few seconds she became empty again. Just an empty shell. Her body was there but her mind was miles and miles away. Her friends used to ask her what was she thinking, where her mind was. But after a while they stopped. Not even her knew where it was. She only knew with who.

**- - -**

"Gin, are you OK today? You are a little bit more..." Luna trailed off. The other knew what she meant.

"I'm fine." She looked at her watch. "I've got detention." And she left the table leaving the Hufflepuff behind. She really needed to go, she knew better than to be late to Snape's detention. Though she could have been nicer to the only person that still talked to her. She _should_, she thought bitterly.

**- - -**

"You will clean all of these cauldron" he pointed to at least fifty of them, "and you will order these vials. By size, shape and color. I will be back at ten. If you do not finish today you will come back tomorrow and so on." Snape turned and went to the door where he stopped and said "No magic." She could almost hear the smile in his voice.

**- - -**

She was more than used to be alone by now. Just as she was more than used to be on detentions cleaning cauldrons without magic. She didn't care anymore. She only cared about one thing lately. She knew she would not end her task that day, she would have to go to the dungeons for at least four more days. The dark and cold dungeons. She wasn't afraid. She had only one fear.

**- - -**

"Miss Weasley, come to my office please." She followed McGonagall to her office, already knowing what the elder would say. Once they were sat she started. "Miss Weasley, I have to inform you that your situation is critical. Miss Weasley" the Professor took off her glasses, "your grades are worst than any other student in your year. If you do not have an "Excellent" in every test you will fail." McGonagall sighed and continued. "You must know that the student that fails one year is expelled."

Ginny didn't say a thing. She had been right, she knew what the other would say.

"The tests are close Miss Weasley. I know you can get these grades, you did very well in your OWL's last year." She still didn't talk. She just stared at nothing while her Professor looked at her, studying her. "You may go now, I believe you have a detention with Professor Snape." When Ginny was almost at the door she heard. "One more thing. You know Miss Weasley, if Miss Granger, Mr Weasley and Mr. Potter come back next year – which I believe they will – they would stay with your house mates..." She looked back and saw the teacher looking through some parchments. She left the room for detention.

**- - -**

"Ten o'clock Miss Weasley, you may g- " Snape trailed off when he saw the emotional state the girl was. She was on the floor leaning in one cauldron... Crying. She hated herself for that. She promised she wouldn't cry anymore. Not until she had news. And right now she hadn't. She just realized that what McGonagall said was true. They would stay together, but if she continued like this, she would fail. Her parents would go nuts and she was probably feel the need to move out. After this they would never talk to her again. So, when would she see him? She sobbed and held the cauldron for support.

"Miss Weasley... Are you OK?" Probably the thing that scared Snape most after Voldemort was girls crying.

"I just need a minute." A lie.

**- - -**

"Gin, you are going to get sick. You are only studying lately. Some Gryffindors said that you barely sleep and I can see that you are skipping the meals..."

"I need to study Luna. When I'm hungry I go to the kitchens, OK? I can't stop. If I do I will fail and I just can't let this happen. I can't"

They didn't say anything more, just stayed quiet studying with people around them at the Library. Soon it was eight and they left it. Ginny going to her detention and the others to dinner.

**- - -**

Concentrating very hard on her task she was able to finish the cleaning and moved to order the vials. She needed to finish it, she needed more time to study. When Snape got there he saw how concentrated she was. She was almost done with organizing the vials. He saw the change in her attitude since the night he saw her cry, two nights ago. "When you are done you can go Miss Weasley." He left the room leaving her.

**- - -**

"The answer is correct Miss Weasley. Very well. Five points to Gryffindor."

Instead of losing points she was now gaining them. In two weeks she was almost done with catching up. A great change was what McGonagall said to her the day before.

**- - -**

"_You are going to pass Ginny. You need to. Just need!"_ She thought when she handed her last test to Severus Snape.

**- - -**

They didn't have anything to do after the exams. The following week was just like her old days: empty. They got their grades and she was scared to look at it. _"What if...?"_

"You will only know when you open it." Luna put a hand on her shoulder, supporting her. She opened it and gave a small smile. Now, just one more thing had to be done for her to be completely happy.

**- - -**

At King Cross everybody bid their goodbyes saying their "see you next year" or crying for the seventh years that would not return. She saw Kingsley and he going to get her.

"I'm here to get you home Miss Weasley." Something had happened. The question was: good or bad?

**- - -**

"Ginny, come inside, now." She didn't argue with her mother, asking for explanations. She knew they would be inside. First she saw Hermione; which looked miserable. Then her brother Ron; the same as her friend, clothes torn and the hair was a total mess. She searched in the room. Her heart stopped. There he was, a little behind her father. Hesitant. The world stopped for the two and what they could only see was each other.

**- - -**

In the Order meeting Ginny wasn't allowed to go in. Everybody was there, even Snape. She was alone at her room at Grimmauld Place, but her heart wasn't aching, he was there again.

**- - -**

"What happened in the meeting? Why did you three go and I didn't? You need to pack, tomorrow, Hogwarts, seventh year, with me, remember?"

They didn't answer, they just went to their bedrooms to sleep.

**- - -**

"Ginny, honey. They will go later to the school. We need to talk about certain things. Your father will take you sweetheart." Lie.

**- - -**

"Gin, can I talk to you?" Ginny followed Hermione and they sat down. "Er, I don't know how to tell you this but... Harry will not come back this year. He needs to search a few more Horcruxes , alone."

**- - -**

How does it feel to have all of your dreams back and let the person you treasures most rip them away from your chest?

:.: Fin :.:

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A/N: Hey, I wrote this fic just to test if I still had any imagination left... Author's block sucks! Anyway, I still have. I realized that I really just can't write about the things that I was writing... But anyway. A few explanations now: 1- This takes place at Ginny's sixth year – Harry's seventh if he was not searching for the Horcruxes. 2- The time is not specified, except when I wrote, I mean, when this " - - -" appears it can mean either minutes or months. 3- Dumbledore is not dead. 4- Draco tried to kill him but failed and was expelled, he was going to Azkaban but he ran away. And Snape never tried to save his godson. 5- Ginny as you can see is a little OOC. I know she is always independent, but I just had to wrote it like this.

Well, I think this is it...

Curiosity: I was going to write about Hermione, but I couldn't think of anyone to write her with. It really had to be Ginny.

I really hope you enjoyed it.

=)

Bea~!


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